WTF! AYS?

Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

ObamaCare Supporters


WTF! AYS, ObamaCare supporters?

When will people mother-fucking understand that I go to work for me and my family not for you and your family? When will you worthless pieces of shit understand that I don’t give a flying fuck about you? It’s not my place to worry about you.

Hooker

Thanks to Obamacare, these are the only hookers I can afford!

I don’t fucking know you, so I will sleep very easily if you have genital warts, an inflamed turdhole, or if you die. I expect the same from you. You don’t know me, so don’t act like you give a shit. And if you do give a shit, buy me more hookers! I don’t fucking care about you or your family, and the more you try to make me care the more pissed I get and the more I’m apt to kill you myself – to get you out of my (and society’s) business, and to put you out of your misery.

The only people that deserve special consideration are children; and childhood ends at age 18 not 26. The government can fuck off if they think that I’ll be paying for all of my baby-mamas’ kids after they turn 18 months!

WHAT! 18 years?!?!? Shit, I’ll sell the little fuckers to some Chinese sweatshop when they are six, fuck that 18 years old shit. I’ll turn them into gold farming bastards of your favorite online game, that’s what I’ll do. How’s a man s’pozed to afford all of his abortion bats if he’s gotta pay for the youngins?

Here’s a little bit of truth for you:

I don’t care if it is a ‘law,’ I will *never* sign up for Obamacare, I will *never* pay the fine, and if you try to apply it to my taxes I will simply stop paying taxes.  This is my line in the sand.

I'll rig my door, and I own guns.  As long as I take out 2 or more of you, I win!

I’ll rig my door, and I own guns. As long as I take out 2 or more of you, I win!

Come after me IRS!

Come after me NSA – (you already know who I am)!

Come after me you pansy ass sacks of shit who don’t have the balls to hold a real job you come after me to pay for your shit.

Throw me in jail or prison if you must, at least then I’ll have a reason to suck off of the tit – mmmmm, titties! – of those who work. Maybe prison will turn me into a weightlifting drug dealer; that’ll be great for society, won’t it? Eventually I’ll be released, but since I’m a convicted felon I won’t be able to get a real job, once again forced to fuck, errr, suck off the tit of you retards who actually work for a living.

After I get thrown into prison again for trafficking, and maybe manslaughter, the bleeding heart retards will then sympathize with me as someone who is ‘misunderstood’ and deserves to be free in society.  We’ll all create the ‘Save the Bizniz Fund.’  I’ll get that fat chick to cry, “For only ninety nine cents a day, you can feed this man a simple meal and provide him a measly one hooker a week.”

I won't pay taxes, that'll fuck up their Ponzi scheme.

I won’t pay taxes, that’ll fuck up their Ponzi scheme.

Enough is enough!! If you are such a worthless P.O.S. that you need other people to fund your existence, maybe you’re not the type of person we need on our gene pool evolving us to the next level.

I want intelligent people evolving our society, not parasites.  I want hard working people spreading their gene pool, not lazy excuse propagators.  Just like the rest of the animal kingdom, it’s time to cull the heard, and I’ll start with anyone who thinks they are owed anything from the work I do.

I am so fucking sick and tired of needy people who can’t learn that I have my own responsibilities, and, other than staying out of the way of you perusing your dreams, I have *NO* obligation to you … none. By trying to force these obligations on me, I am finding new ways of avoiding them – even if it means becoming a civil criminal.

FUCK … OFF … YOU … WORTHLESS … PIECES OF SHIT!  Please, for the love of God and the universe, don’t fucking procreate – or give your kids to parents who can teach them to be responsible adults.  Your gene pool needs to end NOW!  I’m talking to you, Bob Beckel!

I'll be sure to send'em to Nobamacare doctors.

I’ll be sure to send’em to Nobamacare doctors.

Just because I needed another picture of a hooker.

Just because I needed another picture of a hooker.

Transgenders


WTF! AYS, Transgenders?

Shit, can you believe that it’s been eight months since I’ve spread any hate and tried to piss everyone off? I bet you forgot about me! The problem is that there just so much to rant about! I can’t type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts, so, instead of trying, I go buy hookers, cocaine, and double quarter pounders with extra cheese – to keep up my (pregnant) girlish figure – and enjoy my life.  Mmmmmm … buuurrrrgerrrr faaaatttt.

Whoops, I left a coke line.  Round 2!

Whoops, I left a coke line. Round 2!

I’ve been mulling this topic in my noggin’ for a while now. I wasn’t going to rant about it, because quite frankly it so mother fucking stupid that I can’t envision wasting my time on it. Yet, here I am, coming down to your level.

Our topic today, in the famous words of Andrew “Dice” Clay, is about transtesticles.

Transtesticles are those people who fall into any of the following three categories:

  • Chicks with dicks.
  • Meterosexuals (aka: faggots)
  • Retards who think they can ‘non-conform’ by removing all mention of their penis, boobs, or holy vajayjay.

At the end they all are fucking morons who should have they genitalia removed with an M-80.

Personally, I don’t give a shit if you want to rip off your penis and give it to Chaz Bono to chew on like a year old jerky stick, just don’t do it on my dime – and don’t call yourself something that you’re not.  I’m an asshole who hates nearly every other human being on this planet. I don’t shy away from that. I’m not ‘confused’ about my place in the world, I am very sure of myself and of your fucking stupidity.

If you were born female, you’re female.  Shut your pie hole and go cook me dinner.  If you were born a male, you’re male.  I understand that you may love pussy so much that you feel you have to have one of your own, but this isn’t the way to get one.

Martin Lawrence: Talkin' Shit

You ain’t got to be no gay, no punk, no faggot like that!

Here’s a quote from Baghdad Bob: “There is no penis here!” That’s right, I just necro-referenced. One, because the Iraqi Republican Guard were are all faggot ass towel monkeys, and two because he’s standing up to piss his pants while US tanks were making him dance.

Ask yourself this question: “Was I born with cock and balls or was I born with a pink taco?” There you go! You have the answer to your gender identity.

Thomas Beatie is a woman. She can dress up like a dude, glue on some nasty back hair, and strap on a dog pinky, but all she did is make herself an ugly chick who humps legs. The truth is, her gambling debts spiraled out of control and this was her way to hide in plain site and make money on the side; quite ingenious, really. Either that or she was so jealous of boys fucking her posters that she wanted to give it a go.

Just because I'd bone you does not make you a woman or me gay! Why do I feel so funny on the inside?

Just because I’d bone you does not make you a woman or me gay!
Why do I feel so funny on the inside?

Anyway, no human male can get pregnant, ever. No Lee Press On Penis, or Thai makeup artist will turn you into a guy. You’re a chick. Don’t like it, kill yourself and hope for a better Wheel of Fortune spin in your next reincarnation.

“But I don’t want to be a guy! I feel like a girl!” Just because you’re constantly beat up by your younger sister, play dress up and tea party with her dolls, and are sodomized by middle school nerds, doesn’t mean that you’re a chick. It means you need boxing lessons.  Feeling like a pussy does not mean you’re a girl, it means you need to man up!

Even looking like this, Chaz Bono is still a chick!

Even looking like this, Chaz Bono is still a chick!

But I like to wear girls clothes.” Yeah, so do I, but I ain’t no queer. I wear my girl’s underwear after she gets all moist in them. What, too much? Fuck you! At least I know I’m a guy! Japanese vending machines are the best!

If you’re a woman who becomes a man, you were probably ugly as fuck. You know the type: fat, hairy, and flatulent. It dawned on you one day that no one cares if you’re a fat hairy man. I’m talking to you, Chaz Bono; bonofide retard. HA! That was funny AND true – you know it.

And all of you fucking fairy-ass homos who are going to try and act tough, with your pink scarves and high-pitched voices, bring it on, bitches. Your kitty claws don’t compare to my Walther P38. I hope you fucking die from the squirrel shoved in your asshole. Wait, no I don’t. I don’t believe in animal cruelty. Save the squirrel!

There are only three genders, and they all relate to how you were born:

  • Male
  • Female
  • Fucking retarded attention whore who needs to die from a drug overdose.

Everything else is simply bullshit.

The result of 10 double cheesburgers and 6 oz. of cocaine.  Yes, my ass is in the front!

The result of 10 double cheesburgers and 6 oz. of cocaine. Yes, my ass is in the front!

The Facebook 50-ish gender options:

Agender: You’re born male or female, you have a gender. If not, then you’re useless to the human species and should simply cull yourself from this planet.

Androgyne, Androgynous, FTM, and MTF: This is when boys play with dolls or girls play American football. Stop it! Chick suck dicks and dudes kick asses. Dudes who suck dick are faggots and chicks who kick ass, well, they’re actually hot; but not the hairy ones!

Bigender and Transexual: This is called a greedy mother fucker who can’t pick a team and play for it. I call it Meterosexual. Guys who want to be gay, but just can’t go through with it. Fat, hairy bitches or homo dudes who think they can get more play by dressing up as the other team.

Cigender: What the fuck? So, I’m a dude who acts like a dude so now I’m Cigender. How about “Fucking NORMAL,” or “is not a freak of nature who should have a toaster thrown in my bath water.”

Gender Fluid: I’m guessing this is like that Wonder Twin who turned into water and was always useless?

God, is he hot!  I may just be willing to suck his dick!

God, is he hot! I may just be willing to suck his dick!

Gender Nonconforming, Neutrois, Non-binary, Pangender, and Transmasculine : Hippy bitch who hates labels and can’t hold a steady job. Dude who is trying to impress hippy bitch.

Gender Questioning: Pull down your drawers, that’ll answer your question.

Gender Variant: Smizmar?

Genderqueer: Made up word found only at a Starbucks, or in San Francisco and Seattle. Why didn’t we sell Seattle to Japan in the 80’s when we had the chance? Fuck, I hate the See cocks!

Intersex: Pseudohermaphroditism, which is the only almost legitimate category on this list.

Neither: Is this like neutering a dog? Because I’m in total support of this one if it is. “Don’t forget to neuter and spay retarded humans!”

Other: There is no other.

Two-spirit: Didn’t we wipe these people out with small pox yet? Dammit, get a clue!

Uhhh ... what ... the ... fuck ... ???

Uhhh … what … the … fuck … ???

Related articles: (Why the fuck did WordPress remove this feature? It was one of the most fun parts of posting. Jerks.)

Slow Ass Drivers


WTF! AYS, slow ass drivers?

This morning I was on the way to the brothel to take in the camel toe races when I got stuck in traffic.  It seems every fucking day I’m getting stuck in traffic when there are only five god damn people on the road.  It’s that perfect synergy between the slow ass driver ahead, turns you can’t see around, the rare-but-random car coming from the other direction, and too many cars to pass at one time.

I will rage ... you will get hurt ... I will laugh.  Fuck off.

I will rage … you will get hurt … I will laugh. Fuck off.

I’m fat, not stupid.  I’m not trying to kill anyone – other than the slow ass driver causing the traffic retardation, so I’m not going to try and pass four cars around a blind corner.

I look at the speed limit sign, it reads 60, yet we’re driving 45.  I see another sign, it also reads 60, yet we’re still driving forty-fucking-five!  WHAT THE FUCK, CHUCK!?!?  I finally get to a straight-away and say fuck you all, and I pass multiple cars. Read more…

Feminists


WTF! AYS, feminists?

Thanks to my recent posts – fuck, thanks to ALL of my posts – I am starting to be called a misogynist.  from what I can tell these people are mostly men – trying to impress their feminazi girlfriends and wives.

Why should I not look at her? She fucking beautiful, and deserves to be looked at - for as long as I can.

Why should I not look at her? She fucking beautiful, and deserves to be looked at – for as long as I can.

While I do love to touch women in all of their places, I’m not a classically trained misogynist. I can’t charge for the tender caresses I would give you, though I would do everything I can do to relieve your stress on the outside and the inside.

Hmmm … I’m being told that I don’t understand the word.

Let me get my feminist to English dictionary out to translate this.

OH! I get it. You think I hate women, that I am objectifying them, and sexually discriminating against them. Well, yes.

I mean no, yes, and yes.

Read more…

White Knights


WTF!  AYS, white knights?

White Knights are those people who put honor above reality; who believe that we must coexist with everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Unfortunately, sometimes you simply cannot live and let live.  Sometimes you have to judge people and fight people for the sake of what’s right – usually, common sense.

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the "W".

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the “W”.

I’m going to fuck with a lot of people with this post – especially toward the end. The couple of you who thought I was sane are going to have your doubts, while those of you who already think I’m fucking crazy will probably feel you have it confirmed.

You need to read the About WTF! AYS? before behaving too rashly, while at the same time know that these are my beliefs – my words – even if the words are taken to the extreme.

I've got an enlarged phallus, but I don't get to use that as an excuse at work.

I’ve got an enlarged phallus, but I don’t get to use that as an excuse at work.

Read more…

(Anti-)Abortion Activists


WTF! AYS, (anti-)abortion activists?

Yep, this goes out to both the pro life and the pro choice crowd. You’re both a bunch of dipshit fucktards!

So, first and foremost, I am against abortion for any reason not associated with true and reasonable medical issues to the mother or baby, or severe cases such as incest and rape.

Depression is not a real medical issue! Gaining weight is not a real medical issue! Knowing that you’re going to have to stop partying like a fool is not a real medical issue.

No procreation without representation!

No procreation without representation!

Yes, I am for the aborting of Down’s Syndrome babies – or babies with any other known condition that prevents them from taking care of themselves in an appropriate manner as they grow into adulthood. Basically think of this as natural eugenics, where we keep the gene pool strong – not through technology and designer babies, but through common sense.

So, now that I have pissed off both sides of the issue I can continue to fuck with you all in my further commentary.

Read more…

National Security Agency


WTF!  AYS, National Security Agency?

Fuck, I don’t even know who I’m calling stupid in this post.  Let’s just go with the NSA so I can be one of the cool kids added to a watch list or two.

I would tell you where I’ve been over the last weeks and months, but the anal probe I received will explode and turn me into an unwilling jihadist. For fucks sake these dipshit Islamists are getting sneaky; but remember, in the Mormon, errr, Muslim world you’re not gay if you’re pitching – (fucking an underage boy, someone from another culture, drunk, etc.) – only if you’re catching.

Using Islamo-logic: Even though I attempted to fight off my attackers, since they succeeded and (of course) will not admit to witnessing my rape, I must be sentenced to death for homosexuality and adultery. Multiple people kidnap me while I’m eating Cheetos and jerking off to that blond chick from Game of Thrones. They all rape me, leaving my bung hole filled with man sauce and some jizz bomb, and this is somehow MY fault?

Boob bombs! Yummy!

Boob bombs!
Yummy!

Let this be a warning to you! First it was IEDs, then it was cooking implements, now it’s bunghole injections! Is there no lengths these stone age warriors will not go to be allowed to remain in the stone age?

Read more…

Tax payers


WTF! AYS, Tax Payers?

So, it’s that time of year, again, tax time! Good news: I don’t pay taxes! That’s right, fuck the big “O”, and I don’t mean Oprah, and fuck all you lazy asses who are counting on the fruits of my labor to fund your bullshit. Not gunna happen. Come and get me, bitches!

Stop paying your fucking taxes!

I have yet to meet someone who (1) Paid taxes and wasn't angry; (2) Didn't pay taxes, but felt owed my money.

I have yet to meet someone who (1) Paid taxes and wasn’t angry; (2) Didn’t pay taxes, and didn’t feel owed my money.

What!?!?! Did I just ask you to do something illegal? Yes I did.

Do NOT go out and rape, murder, drink and drive, or do any other stupidity. All I’m saying is don’t pay your taxes. Just don’t pay’em. Tell this government that you work hard for your money, (or that you don’t deserve the money of other hard working people,) and that you’re just going to keep it all this year, thanks.

1. The money the federal government spends is YOUR money. This isn’t this king’s money that he graciously allows you to use. Oh, no. This is OUR money, that we graciously allow them to use.

When the fuck are you going to wake up and realize that these faggots on Capital Hill are fucking around with your shit. It’s like lending them your car, but not only do they not give it back, they charge you for the gas they use – and for a new car after the drinking and driving binge with their hookers.

Read more…

MechWarrior Online


WTF! AYS, MechWarrior Online Developers?

Editor’s note:  This post is all about nerd rage.  If you’re not into nerd things you probably won’t get it.  If you are into nerd things, but not into nerd rage, then fuck off.  I don’t like you already.  If you can’t understand why someone would be this pissed about a game, you’ve never YouTube’d screaming WoW kids, Eve freakout, Nerd rage, or anything else.  People get passionate about their hobbies – and since this site is about being over the top, I’m about to be a YouTube video waiting to happen.

Now, I know they say you should never bitch about a game that’s in beta, and one can only hope that there are some good changes to come, but there comes a time when you see that the design team is so fucked in the head stupid that you just have to have them tested for Down’s Syndrome. And if they don’t have Down’s Syndrome you have to come to the realization that they are another group of people who simply need to decide to chew on a cyanide tablet, because they have no redeeming value as people.

Fuck you, Harmony Gold, that's a Warhammer!

Fuck you, Harmony Gold, that’s a Warhammer!

Read more…

Employment Elitists


WTF! AYS, employment elitists?

I’m writing this one on the request of a friend, so let me crack my knuckles and dig right in.

Who the flying fuck do you think you are to look down upon the mechanic, the construction worker, the garbageman, or other manual laborer? Seriously? Hey fucktard! Without the mechanic you can’t drive. That’s okay though, I suppose, as you won’t have to walk too far from the cave you’ll be living in – because you’ll be stuck trying to wade through a meter of SHIT!

If you’re going to belittle the mechanic or poo-poo the garbageman, maybe you should take a moment to stop sucking on your daddy’s tit – (you know what I mean) – and try and figure out who’s going to fix your car or clean up your nasty shit up! I’m certainly not picking up your thrice used rubbers.

Read more…

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