Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

Employers who require facebook info

WTF! AYS, employers who require facebook info?

Let me start this by saying I hate people, therefore I hate social networking.  Oh, I am a very caring person.  If you’re reading this blog/rant know that I care enough to hate you with every fiber of my being – well, if you’re a people that is; since I only hate people (today).  The people who aren’t reading this most important blog/rant in the known multiverse I don’t care about them enough to hate.  Never say I don’t care about you … or say it and be a liar.

Anyway, what was the topic? Oh yeah, asshole employers who require their dumbshit employees to give up their facebook information.  (I’m so glad I don’t have a job.  Unless you consider snorting coke (or delousing powder, I can’t smell the difference) off of unkempt hobo phalluses … phalli … phallussss … fallacies – (what the fuck is the plural of phallus?) – as payment for services rendered.)

First of all, if my boss came to me and asked me to friend him on facebook I’d flat out refuse.  You’re my boss, not my friend.  (Oh, and don’t reference this post in the future when I rant about bosses and how I don’t believe in them.  This is a preemptive fuck you, and fuck my words … and fuck you again for using my words against me.)

You're fired

My new facebook friend!

Now, once I leave the employ of that company, things may change.
Maybe at that time my boss will be my buddy. I’m not exactly sure how that happens.  I mean, really, either the asshole fired me or I quit because he was a complete douche – or he caught his favorite secretary knobbin’ me – but I digress.  Until such a time as he’s no longer my boss, my social network is to be a private place where I can tell my boss to “fuck off, and I hope he slips and falls down three flights of stairs from the back sweat pooling on the floor from his fat cow of a wife’s back,” without having to think twice about posting it.

The first time my employer says, “We need your facebook login information,” is the first time I’ll say, “you need to eat a bag of dicks.”

Rule One of the Internet:  Your shit stinks and you’re stupid!  I read it somewhere, so it’s fact.

Rule Two of the Internet:  Try as you might, and delude yourself with privacy settings, laws, and other features that help you sleep at night, but NOTHING you put out there is private.  Although I don’t ID myself on this blog … (for obvious reasons.  I mean, I am retarded enough to type this, but I’m not so fucking stupid to say, “Hi, my name is Percy and this is how I feel.”) … any reasonable research will point you to me.  Whatever.  You’re still stupid because the Internet told me so.


In’ernet loves me this I know.
For some blogger told me so.
Little ones do porn they make.
And Chinese knockoffs aren’t they great.

Yes, In’ernet loves me.
Yes, In’ernet loves me.
Yes, In’ernet loves me.
For some blogger told me so.

On one hand, if you’re so retarded to think that what you put out there is private, you deserve what you get.  On the other hand, if you think I’m going to up and give you my password so you can monitor my activities, you’ll be monitoring them with some sore testicles.  (Because I’m going to kick them … hard.)  And I will make you eat a bag of half rotten monkey dicks while those same, dickless and pissed off, monkeys rip off your face in revenge.

It’s been stated that employers have the legal right to ask you for this information.  Well, I have the legal right to tell my employer to shove it up his ass.  In an interview that should give me points for assertiveness, as well as clear and concise communication skills.  I’m a shoe in for the job, right?  Public relations here I come!!

Stay out of my personal business, and me makey you happy long time.

Meddle in my business and I’ll make you pay.


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