Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

Religious Idiocy

WTF! AYS, religious idiots?

First things first, I believe in God.  Come back to this sentence after you’re read this post, as you’ll certainly forget it.  I … believe … in … God.  Maybe I should more accurately say that I believe in Intelligent Design.  What I don’t believe in is religious institutions or the fucking pricks who lead them.

Fuck the anti-religious zealot, Bill Maaaaahrererer.
That’s right, touch mah pee pee … TOUCH IT!

  • The Catholic Church are historically a bunch of criminals.
  • The Protestant Churches are confused and trying to remain relevant by shaking their fists at the Catholic Church (and each other).
  • Muslims are savage barbarians that would impede human progress at every step; like the Catholics did in the middle ages.
  • Jews, well, if you’re God’s chosen I’d prefer to be the ignored red-headed step-child.
  • Satanists are just emo kids with daddy issues.
  • Wiccans scream witchcraft but (most) can’t even talk a good game.  Blessed be a foot in your ass, you fat whore who really should NEVER run around naked like that ever again!  Oh my goddess I’m gunna puke.
  • Buddhist think too much and do too little.
  • Scientists are corrupt, and just as dogmatic and jingoistic as religious leaders.
  • The spaghetti monster, well, that’s REAL!  I’ve got pictures (below) to prove it!

Really, do I need to go on?

Mmmmm. That’s right, Buddha, taste it … lick it.

I’m not here to tell you what to believe.  That’s between you and your God or gods, your conscience, your grandmama, and so on.  What I am here to do is tell you that anyone who would kill someone over a book, movie, image, paper, etc. because it mentions, draws, portrays, mocks, etc. someone whom you have never met, and hasn’t been alive for centuries, is a mental midget that does not belong on this planet.

Anyone who would stand outside a funeral and scream that some random person was killed in a war because we allow gays in this world to live – something that the dead person may or may not have agreed with or even known – needs to be removed from this planet.

If God cared that much I think he’d have wiped homo faggotism off the planet Himself.  I don’t think he’d kill random people with no interest in the topic just to make a point that has nothing to do with why or how the person was killed.

So, essentially I am saying FUCK RELIGIOUS ZEALOTRY and that we should bomb it out of existence.

Fuck you, Satan! You can’t exist without God, yet you try and disprove God’s existence. What a fucking hypocrite!
Oh, you … want this, don’t you? That’s right … stare.

Nothing holds society back more than the belief that superman will zap you with his heat vision if you say, do, or think about [insert ‘sin’ here].  Scriptural rules come in two forms – and by scripture I mean any Holy book.  The first are societal laws that make sense for a society to grow and function.  These are good laws!  You know, the ones that say don’t kill your neighbor, don’t steal shit, and you can’t fuck Jessica Alba without her consent.  I know, that last one is a tough one.

Fuck you, science! You can’t prove there’s NO God, so shut your pie hole!

Then there’s the other set of laws, the ones that are imposed by the religious order so that they can control you.  These are the one that state you must kill anyone who thinks differently than you (err, they) do.  These are the ones that give some schmuck the divine right to do what he pleases to your person because he’s a psychopath.

While all religions have their issues, right now I’m going to address the nut fucks of the extreme brands of the Islam faith.

Fuck you, Spaghetti Monster, you’re the only real one of the bunch and I ain’t ‘fraid o’ you!

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard about the douche bag fucktard that violated his parole and tricked people into making an anti-Islam movie, Innocence of Muslims.  If I could, I’d run  up to that asshole and kick him in the nuts so hard his left ball would explode in a bloody, spermy mess.  Not because of the quote/unquote Middle East fall out.  Those fucking rag heads will scream about anything.  I think they need more beer or something over there because they get their panties in a bind about such irrelevant shit.  I’d kick this movie fuck in the nuts because he lied to the actors and because there was no point to this waste of cinematic (can I say that in this context?) space.  It may not be as bad as The Phantom Menace, but it was close.

Ooooh. Scratchy on mah Johnson.

First of all, Americans don’t give up their First Amendment Rights because some dude in a sandbox is only now learning the folly of having seven bitchy wives – one’s enough, Axxxxxchkhmed!  If they want war, I think we’ve continually showed them the error of their ways there – (it’s the ‘peace’ we fuck up).  I say we wipe them off of the earth if they are going to continue to kill people over beliefs.

Secondly, if you get so bent out of shape over the mocking of some misogynist that lived centuries before you were even a twinkle in some camel’s eye, then you should simply kill yourself, because I son’t even think you’re worth a $0.33  bullet.

I’m the angel Gabriel.  After I rinse out your ear, write down everything I tell you.

Lastly, in the spirit of being an equal opportunity hater, I have included many images in this post of some random white guy fucking major religious figures.   If this pisses you off so much that you now need to kill someone, kick a kitten, or even scream at wall please do me a favor.  Put about 10 centimeters of water in your bathtub or sink, submerge your face fully, and breathe in the liquid heaven.  I’d even encourage you to use bath salts, oils, or bubbles for your final comfort.

[EDIT:  Spelling]


Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: