WTF! AYS?

Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

Archive for the month “June, 2013”

Slow Ass Drivers


WTF! AYS, slow ass drivers?

This morning I was on the way to the brothel to take in the camel toe races when I got stuck in traffic.  It seems every fucking day I’m getting stuck in traffic when there are only five god damn people on the road.  It’s that perfect synergy between the slow ass driver ahead, turns you can’t see around, the rare-but-random car coming from the other direction, and too many cars to pass at one time.

I will rage ... you will get hurt ... I will laugh.  Fuck off.

I will rage … you will get hurt … I will laugh. Fuck off.

I’m fat, not stupid.  I’m not trying to kill anyone – other than the slow ass driver causing the traffic retardation, so I’m not going to try and pass four cars around a blind corner.

I look at the speed limit sign, it reads 60, yet we’re driving 45.  I see another sign, it also reads 60, yet we’re still driving forty-fucking-five!  WHAT THE FUCK, CHUCK!?!?  I finally get to a straight-away and say fuck you all, and I pass multiple cars. Read more…

Feminists


WTF! AYS, feminists?

Thanks to my recent posts – fuck, thanks to ALL of my posts – I am starting to be called a misogynist.  from what I can tell these people are mostly men – trying to impress their feminazi girlfriends and wives.

Why should I not look at her? She fucking beautiful, and deserves to be looked at - for as long as I can.

Why should I not look at her? She fucking beautiful, and deserves to be looked at – for as long as I can.

While I do love to touch women in all of their places, I’m not a classically trained misogynist. I can’t charge for the tender caresses I would give you, though I would do everything I can do to relieve your stress on the outside and the inside.

Hmmm … I’m being told that I don’t understand the word.

Let me get my feminist to English dictionary out to translate this.

OH! I get it. You think I hate women, that I am objectifying them, and sexually discriminating against them. Well, yes.

I mean no, yes, and yes.

Read more…

White Knights


WTF!  AYS, white knights?

White Knights are those people who put honor above reality; who believe that we must coexist with everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Unfortunately, sometimes you simply cannot live and let live.  Sometimes you have to judge people and fight people for the sake of what’s right – usually, common sense.

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the "W".

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the “W”.

I’m going to fuck with a lot of people with this post – especially toward the end. The couple of you who thought I was sane are going to have your doubts, while those of you who already think I’m fucking crazy will probably feel you have it confirmed.

You need to read the About WTF! AYS? before behaving too rashly, while at the same time know that these are my beliefs – my words – even if the words are taken to the extreme.

I've got an enlarged phallus, but I don't get to use that as an excuse at work.

I’ve got an enlarged phallus, but I don’t get to use that as an excuse at work.

Read more…

(Anti-)Abortion Activists


WTF! AYS, (anti-)abortion activists?

Yep, this goes out to both the pro life and the pro choice crowd. You’re both a bunch of dipshit fucktards!

So, first and foremost, I am against abortion for any reason not associated with true and reasonable medical issues to the mother or baby, or severe cases such as incest and rape.

Depression is not a real medical issue! Gaining weight is not a real medical issue! Knowing that you’re going to have to stop partying like a fool is not a real medical issue.

No procreation without representation!

No procreation without representation!

Yes, I am for the aborting of Down’s Syndrome babies – or babies with any other known condition that prevents them from taking care of themselves in an appropriate manner as they grow into adulthood. Basically think of this as natural eugenics, where we keep the gene pool strong – not through technology and designer babies, but through common sense.

So, now that I have pissed off both sides of the issue I can continue to fuck with you all in my further commentary.

Read more…

National Security Agency


WTF!  AYS, National Security Agency?

Fuck, I don’t even know who I’m calling stupid in this post.  Let’s just go with the NSA so I can be one of the cool kids added to a watch list or two.

I would tell you where I’ve been over the last weeks and months, but the anal probe I received will explode and turn me into an unwilling jihadist. For fucks sake these dipshit Islamists are getting sneaky; but remember, in the Mormon, errr, Muslim world you’re not gay if you’re pitching – (fucking an underage boy, someone from another culture, drunk, etc.) – only if you’re catching.

Using Islamo-logic: Even though I attempted to fight off my attackers, since they succeeded and (of course) will not admit to witnessing my rape, I must be sentenced to death for homosexuality and adultery. Multiple people kidnap me while I’m eating Cheetos and jerking off to that blond chick from Game of Thrones. They all rape me, leaving my bung hole filled with man sauce and some jizz bomb, and this is somehow MY fault?

Boob bombs! Yummy!

Boob bombs!
Yummy!

Let this be a warning to you! First it was IEDs, then it was cooking implements, now it’s bunghole injections! Is there no lengths these stone age warriors will not go to be allowed to remain in the stone age?

Read more…

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