WTF! AYS?

Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

Archive for the category “Retards in Society”

Transgenders


WTF! AYS, Transgenders?

Shit, can you believe that it’s been eight months since I’ve spread any hate and tried to piss everyone off? I bet you forgot about me! The problem is that there just so much to rant about! I can’t type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts, so, instead of trying, I go buy hookers, cocaine, and double quarter pounders with extra cheese – to keep up my (pregnant) girlish figure – and enjoy my life.  Mmmmmm … buuurrrrgerrrr faaaatttt.

Whoops, I left a coke line.  Round 2!

Whoops, I left a coke line. Round 2!

I’ve been mulling this topic in my noggin’ for a while now. I wasn’t going to rant about it, because quite frankly it so mother fucking stupid that I can’t envision wasting my time on it. Yet, here I am, coming down to your level.

Our topic today, in the famous words of Andrew “Dice” Clay, is about transtesticles.

Transtesticles are those people who fall into any of the following three categories:

  • Chicks with dicks.
  • Meterosexuals (aka: faggots)
  • Retards who think they can ‘non-conform’ by removing all mention of their penis, boobs, or holy vajayjay.

At the end they all are fucking morons who should have they genitalia removed with an M-80.

Personally, I don’t give a shit if you want to rip off your penis and give it to Chaz Bono to chew on like a year old jerky stick, just don’t do it on my dime – and don’t call yourself something that you’re not.  I’m an asshole who hates nearly every other human being on this planet. I don’t shy away from that. I’m not ‘confused’ about my place in the world, I am very sure of myself and of your fucking stupidity.

If you were born female, you’re female.  Shut your pie hole and go cook me dinner.  If you were born a male, you’re male.  I understand that you may love pussy so much that you feel you have to have one of your own, but this isn’t the way to get one.

Martin Lawrence: Talkin' Shit

You ain’t got to be no gay, no punk, no faggot like that!

Here’s a quote from Baghdad Bob: “There is no penis here!” That’s right, I just necro-referenced. One, because the Iraqi Republican Guard were are all faggot ass towel monkeys, and two because he’s standing up to piss his pants while US tanks were making him dance.

Ask yourself this question: “Was I born with cock and balls or was I born with a pink taco?” There you go! You have the answer to your gender identity.

Thomas Beatie is a woman. She can dress up like a dude, glue on some nasty back hair, and strap on a dog pinky, but all she did is make herself an ugly chick who humps legs. The truth is, her gambling debts spiraled out of control and this was her way to hide in plain site and make money on the side; quite ingenious, really. Either that or she was so jealous of boys fucking her posters that she wanted to give it a go.

Just because I'd bone you does not make you a woman or me gay! Why do I feel so funny on the inside?

Just because I’d bone you does not make you a woman or me gay!
Why do I feel so funny on the inside?

Anyway, no human male can get pregnant, ever. No Lee Press On Penis, or Thai makeup artist will turn you into a guy. You’re a chick. Don’t like it, kill yourself and hope for a better Wheel of Fortune spin in your next reincarnation.

“But I don’t want to be a guy! I feel like a girl!” Just because you’re constantly beat up by your younger sister, play dress up and tea party with her dolls, and are sodomized by middle school nerds, doesn’t mean that you’re a chick. It means you need boxing lessons.  Feeling like a pussy does not mean you’re a girl, it means you need to man up!

Even looking like this, Chaz Bono is still a chick!

Even looking like this, Chaz Bono is still a chick!

But I like to wear girls clothes.” Yeah, so do I, but I ain’t no queer. I wear my girl’s underwear after she gets all moist in them. What, too much? Fuck you! At least I know I’m a guy! Japanese vending machines are the best!

If you’re a woman who becomes a man, you were probably ugly as fuck. You know the type: fat, hairy, and flatulent. It dawned on you one day that no one cares if you’re a fat hairy man. I’m talking to you, Chaz Bono; bonofide retard. HA! That was funny AND true – you know it.

And all of you fucking fairy-ass homos who are going to try and act tough, with your pink scarves and high-pitched voices, bring it on, bitches. Your kitty claws don’t compare to my Walther P38. I hope you fucking die from the squirrel shoved in your asshole. Wait, no I don’t. I don’t believe in animal cruelty. Save the squirrel!

There are only three genders, and they all relate to how you were born:

  • Male
  • Female
  • Fucking retarded attention whore who needs to die from a drug overdose.

Everything else is simply bullshit.

The result of 10 double cheesburgers and 6 oz. of cocaine.  Yes, my ass is in the front!

The result of 10 double cheesburgers and 6 oz. of cocaine. Yes, my ass is in the front!

The Facebook 50-ish gender options:

Agender: You’re born male or female, you have a gender. If not, then you’re useless to the human species and should simply cull yourself from this planet.

Androgyne, Androgynous, FTM, and MTF: This is when boys play with dolls or girls play American football. Stop it! Chick suck dicks and dudes kick asses. Dudes who suck dick are faggots and chicks who kick ass, well, they’re actually hot; but not the hairy ones!

Bigender and Transexual: This is called a greedy mother fucker who can’t pick a team and play for it. I call it Meterosexual. Guys who want to be gay, but just can’t go through with it. Fat, hairy bitches or homo dudes who think they can get more play by dressing up as the other team.

Cigender: What the fuck? So, I’m a dude who acts like a dude so now I’m Cigender. How about “Fucking NORMAL,” or “is not a freak of nature who should have a toaster thrown in my bath water.”

Gender Fluid: I’m guessing this is like that Wonder Twin who turned into water and was always useless?

God, is he hot!  I may just be willing to suck his dick!

God, is he hot! I may just be willing to suck his dick!

Gender Nonconforming, Neutrois, Non-binary, Pangender, and Transmasculine : Hippy bitch who hates labels and can’t hold a steady job. Dude who is trying to impress hippy bitch.

Gender Questioning: Pull down your drawers, that’ll answer your question.

Gender Variant: Smizmar?

Genderqueer: Made up word found only at a Starbucks, or in San Francisco and Seattle. Why didn’t we sell Seattle to Japan in the 80’s when we had the chance? Fuck, I hate the See cocks!

Intersex: Pseudohermaphroditism, which is the only almost legitimate category on this list.

Neither: Is this like neutering a dog? Because I’m in total support of this one if it is. “Don’t forget to neuter and spay retarded humans!”

Other: There is no other.

Two-spirit: Didn’t we wipe these people out with small pox yet? Dammit, get a clue!

Uhhh ... what ... the ... fuck ... ???

Uhhh … what … the … fuck … ???

Related articles: (Why the fuck did WordPress remove this feature? It was one of the most fun parts of posting. Jerks.)

Employment Elitists


WTF! AYS, employment elitists?

I’m writing this one on the request of a friend, so let me crack my knuckles and dig right in.

Who the flying fuck do you think you are to look down upon the mechanic, the construction worker, the garbageman, or other manual laborer? Seriously? Hey fucktard! Without the mechanic you can’t drive. That’s okay though, I suppose, as you won’t have to walk too far from the cave you’ll be living in – because you’ll be stuck trying to wade through a meter of SHIT!

If you’re going to belittle the mechanic or poo-poo the garbageman, maybe you should take a moment to stop sucking on your daddy’s tit – (you know what I mean) – and try and figure out who’s going to fix your car or clean up your nasty shit up! I’m certainly not picking up your thrice used rubbers.

Read more…

Video Game Testers


WTF! AYS, video game testers?

So, I have been spending the last couple of weeks jerking off to (while play testing) “Lara Croft (aka: Angelina Jolie) versus Aliens and Predators“, a new game being put out by Kapcum. I may be breaking a Non-Disclosure Agreement here, but the goal of the game is to get an Alien’s smaller second mouth into Angelina Jolie’s snatch, while avoiding the Brad Pitt looking Predators.

Average play tester.

Average play tester.

This is one of them thar massively online games where a billion or so pussy starved kids pretend to be social aware, which such great …
… Conversation starters: “Fuck you, dick!” and “UR a N00b!”
… Character names like: xPussyLicker and Kok Teiz.
… Deals like: “400 AJ pubes for $20.00 US! Fast power revering; you get boom boom in no time frat!” They are Chinese, you see, so their keyboards force them to type like that. And unlike the producers of the current Red Dawn movie, I ain’t afraid to piss some people who smell like onions stuck in sweat socks and who I can blind fold with dental floss.

Read more…

Fat people


WTF! AYS, fat people?

Don’t give me any of this bullshit:

This is what happens to guys who don’t like girls.

  • I’m not fat, I’m big boned. – No, I’m big boned! My mistress can confirm this. You, sir, are fat!
  • It’s a thyroid condition! – Really, let me see your medical records for proof.
  • I’m not fat, I’m plus sized.  – Fuck that! You’re a multiplication table!
  • My body is a temple! – To whom, Adephagia?
  • Fat is beautiful! – Only when it’s sizzling in a pan of bacon and eggs!

Not only are you taking a terrible toll on my eyes, but your body is screaming at the point of bursting.  Those fart sounds coming from your ankles are not normal!  That smell coming from one of your seven potential bellybutton holes is not the sweet scent of success.  You really should be embarrassed to find a used condom suck in your thigh crack. Read more…

Halloween haters


WTF! AYS, Halloween haters?

It’s that time of year again. Yep, it is the time of year when you buy a ton of candy, eat it all, and scream ‘Oh, shit!’ at the last moment and quickly brew up some caramel covered onions for the kiddies.

  • Or maybe you’re the type that pulls out the ol’ Parker Brothers Ouija boardbecause we all know that when you think occult you think Parker Brothers– and talk to some spirit from beyond the veil.

    Child Costume

    What’s wrong with educating (botany) while having fun (smoking)?

  • Or you go out dressed as some bully teenager and steal candy from the kids who wasted their time collecting it for you.
  • Or you do what I do: close all of the curtains, turn off all of the lights, watch TV at a really low volume, and ignore the doorbell.

However you celebrate it, Halloween is a great time of the year. So, why the fuck are some dipshits trying to ruin it for everyone? These fucktards are citing economic, religious, and cultural concerns. Read more…

Dipshit Employee


WTF! AYS, Dipshit Employee?

First of all, let me start with a tangent.  No, I haven’t forgotten about this site, and yes, I will post here more often.  I’ve been busy working on a side project – negotiating prices between the Secret Service and their, uhhhh, secret services.

It’s all classified, so if I tell you I have to kill you.

Anyway, what the fuck is up with this moron who doesn’t bathe, dresses like a hobo (sans shopping cart), and has the personality of a rabid ape thinking that he deserves a promotion?

If even Andy Dick looks sick when puckering up to another dude’s ass, you know there’s a problem!

Read more…

Some random American jackass.


WTF! AYS, some random American jackass?

I had a story here, but there’s no point in recounting it.  It’s long and really misses the point of the message, which is: If I don’t speak your language, be sure to scream at me so I can understand it better.

I mean, don’t get we wrong.  The only words I know how to say in German are hefe-wisenScheiße; and remember dubbaya dubbya two you Nazi green-leprechaun-shorts wearing Aryan jackbooter.  Okay, that last one may not be German, but when said really angry it could sound German.

I'm PROUD to be an elitist

In case you were wondering.

Read more…

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