WTF! AYS?

Because my ego says I'm the most important person on the Internet!

Archive for the tag “United States”

White Knights


WTF!  AYS, white knights?

White Knights are those people who put honor above reality; who believe that we must coexist with everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  Unfortunately, sometimes you simply cannot live and let live.  Sometimes you have to judge people and fight people for the sake of what’s right – usually, common sense.

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the "W".

When it comes to life and civilization, the only thing that matters is the “W”.

I’m going to fuck with a lot of people with this post – especially toward the end. The couple of you who thought I was sane are going to have your doubts, while those of you who already think I’m fucking crazy will probably feel you have it confirmed.

You need to read the About WTF! AYS? before behaving too rashly, while at the same time know that these are my beliefs – my words – even if the words are taken to the extreme.

I've got an enlarged phallus, but I don't get to use that as an excuse at work.

I’ve got an enlarged phallus, but I don’t get to use that as an excuse at work.

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Tax payers


WTF! AYS, Tax Payers?

So, it’s that time of year, again, tax time! Good news: I don’t pay taxes! That’s right, fuck the big “O”, and I don’t mean Oprah, and fuck all you lazy asses who are counting on the fruits of my labor to fund your bullshit. Not gunna happen. Come and get me, bitches!

Stop paying your fucking taxes!

I have yet to meet someone who (1) Paid taxes and wasn't angry; (2) Didn't pay taxes, but felt owed my money.

I have yet to meet someone who (1) Paid taxes and wasn’t angry; (2) Didn’t pay taxes, and didn’t feel owed my money.

What!?!?! Did I just ask you to do something illegal? Yes I did.

Do NOT go out and rape, murder, drink and drive, or do any other stupidity. All I’m saying is don’t pay your taxes. Just don’t pay’em. Tell this government that you work hard for your money, (or that you don’t deserve the money of other hard working people,) and that you’re just going to keep it all this year, thanks.

1. The money the federal government spends is YOUR money. This isn’t this king’s money that he graciously allows you to use. Oh, no. This is OUR money, that we graciously allow them to use.

When the fuck are you going to wake up and realize that these faggots on Capital Hill are fucking around with your shit. It’s like lending them your car, but not only do they not give it back, they charge you for the gas they use – and for a new car after the drinking and driving binge with their hookers.

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Anti-Gun Activists


WTF! AYS, anti-gun activists?

So, once again it’s been some time since I’ve posted. God damn it I’m trying so fucking hard not to make this a political site, but between my retarded ass friends, moronic family members, and the rest of you fucking mouth breathers out there, you leave me no choice. You are all so fucking stupid that I have to wrap my head in duct tape to prevent it from exploding into smithereens. What an awesome word, smithereens. Doesn’t that shit just make you want to smile? Smithereens … smithereens … smithereens … smithereens … fucking amazing!

This is my brain after talking to one of you retards.

This is my brain after talking to one of you retards.

Alright, since I know that either you agree with me, or you’re a pseudo-educated cur that probably has the attention span of a gnat, let me cut to the chase. Comment One: “You don’t need a gun!” “You don’t need a gun with ‘x’ capability and ‘y’ magazine size.” (It’s a magazine not a clip you fucking retards!  Arrgh!  This is what happens when you’re educated by TV.) Response One: Who the fuck are you to tell me what I need?  Seriously, what fucking planet did you come from to stand in my face and tell me what I need?  Hey asshole, I don’t need a television, but I have one. I don’t need a boat, but I have one. I don’t need you in my face, yet there you are.  I don’t need books, but I have a lot of them.

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American voters


WTF! AYS, American voters?

tl;dr: Obama voters are fucking stupid and should die slow, horrible deaths.

DumbObama

Truer words cannot be said.

I could go on for forty days and forty nights about the idiocy that is the American voter, but I’m only going to pick a couple of issues because you fucking retards out there won’t be able to comprehend anything more.

First of all, FUCK OBAMA! And FUCK ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO VOTED FOR HIM! That’s right, a biiiiiiiggggg FUCK YOU to friends, family, and other assholes who voted for this Captain Moron.

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Obama supporters


WTF! AYS, Obama supporters?

Because I haven’t typed in a while, and some ‘friends’ of mine are spinning me up via e-mails and social networking, I figure I’d stick a big black Oblama dick in their asses for being sofa king wee todd id!

#1: There is no god damn war on women, you stupid ass misandrists. First of all abortion for any other fucking reason than to save the life of the mother, or in the case of incapacitating birth defects in the child – where it will never be able to live on its own – is fucking murder. This isn’t some religious bullshit, this is common fucking sense.

Aborted 9 week fetus

I want my baby back baby back baby back
I want my baby back baby back baby back
Baby back riiiiiiiibs

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Dipshit Employee


WTF! AYS, Dipshit Employee?

First of all, let me start with a tangent.  No, I haven’t forgotten about this site, and yes, I will post here more often.  I’ve been busy working on a side project – negotiating prices between the Secret Service and their, uhhhh, secret services.

It’s all classified, so if I tell you I have to kill you.

Anyway, what the fuck is up with this moron who doesn’t bathe, dresses like a hobo (sans shopping cart), and has the personality of a rabid ape thinking that he deserves a promotion?

If even Andy Dick looks sick when puckering up to another dude’s ass, you know there’s a problem!

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Employers who require facebook info


WTF! AYS, employers who require facebook info?

Let me start this by saying I hate people, therefore I hate social networking.  Oh, I am a very caring person.  If you’re reading this blog/rant know that I care enough to hate you with every fiber of my being – well, if you’re a people that is; since I only hate people (today).  The people who aren’t reading this most important blog/rant in the known multiverse I don’t care about them enough to hate.  Never say I don’t care about you … or say it and be a liar.

Anyway, what was the topic? Oh yeah, asshole employers who require their dumbshit employees to give up their facebook information.  (I’m so glad I don’t have a job.  Unless you consider snorting coke (or delousing powder, I can’t smell the difference) off of unkempt hobo phalluses … phalli … phallussss … fallacies – (what the fuck is the plural of phallus?) – as payment for services rendered.)

First of all, if my boss came to me and asked me to friend him on facebook I’d flat out refuse.  You’re my boss, not my friend.  (Oh, and don’t reference this post in the future when I rant about bosses and how I don’t believe in them.  This is a preemptive fuck you, and fuck my words … and fuck you again for using my words against me.)

You're fired

My new facebook friend!

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Some random American jackass.


WTF! AYS, some random American jackass?

I had a story here, but there’s no point in recounting it.  It’s long and really misses the point of the message, which is: If I don’t speak your language, be sure to scream at me so I can understand it better.

I mean, don’t get we wrong.  The only words I know how to say in German are hefe-wisenScheiße; and remember dubbaya dubbya two you Nazi green-leprechaun-shorts wearing Aryan jackbooter.  Okay, that last one may not be German, but when said really angry it could sound German.

I'm PROUD to be an elitist

In case you were wondering.

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Sandra Fluke


WTF! AYS, Sandra Fluke?

Seriously, she wants a private company to fund her, uhhh, private activities?

Fist off, let’s not get into the craptastic stupidity that is publicly mandated healthcare.  I could rant for hours on that; and before you try to delv into it, yes I think people should just die.  You’re going to accuse me of it anyway, so I may as well say it for you.

Sandra Fluke - fUgly

This is what you get when you call those numbers written on the bathroom stalls.

Now, back on this stupid slut (not literally, of course … eww!), Sandra Fluke.  That fat, deaf bastard, Rush Limbaugh had it right.  Fuck his stupid ass apology!  She put herself out there with her ‘schools should pay for contraception‘ bull.  And shut your pie holes about him taking Viagra. If he’s taking Viagra to test that 4-hour hard on issue (that’s priapism for you edjumakated folk), or because he lost sight of his wienie, then I’d be against a private insurer being forced to provide that as well.  But if he has a real medical condition that prevents him from spending sweaty-grunty time with his neighbor’s legless midget, then okay.  I stress MEDICAL condition.  If he just sucks in the sack, then I’d suggest a couple of videos (or free Internet sites) can educate him – on his own dime. Read more…

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