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Dipshit Employee

WTF! AYS, Dipshit Employee?

First of all, let me start with a tangent.  No, I haven’t forgotten about this site, and yes, I will post here more often.  I’ve been busy working on a side project – negotiating prices between the Secret Service and their, uhhhh, secret services.

It’s all classified, so if I tell you I have to kill you.

Anyway, what the fuck is up with this moron who doesn’t bathe, dresses like a hobo (sans shopping cart), and has the personality of a rabid ape thinking that he deserves a promotion?

If even Andy Dick looks sick when puckering up to another dude’s ass, you know there’s a problem!

Let’s call this gentleape “Andy,” because I think his weeble wabble physique could use Andy Dick’s penis in his back door man-jina.  And let’s say he works for a rather large employer who has a pretty easy to figure out hierarchy – Bitch, Peon, Worker Bee, Super Worker Bee, Supervisor, Manager, Manager’s Hot Ass ‘Personal Assistant‘, Director, and … who the fuck cares at this point.

So, this dude was hired on apparently to check facebook, clip toenails, and tell everyone that whatever he’s tasked to do is not his job.  Oh yeah, and to conduct fart wars in the office.

Due to some restructuring, he was demoted from Super Worker Bee to Worker Bee.  Believe it or not, it wasn’t because of his jungle personality, it was only because tens of thousands of employees were restructured in a similar manner.  Understand that he didn’t take a pay cut and his job description didn’t change.  Only his title, and the realization that (at most) he’s nothing more than a secretary – who refuses to do paperwork, changed.

Here’s file footage of this dipshit at the 2012 Douche Bag Award Ceremony.

So, for two years this guy whines and complains that he doesn’t get paid enough.  Over the course of the time he starts to dress like he’s sleeping in his car, he smells like he showered in the gas station toilet, and treats what few customers he has – one of which is equivalent to a US Congressman or a large city mayor – like they are preventing him from adding his personal sauce to the ham sandwich he has between his legs.

If you can’t tell, I’m a smart ass, so I asked this dipshit, “Why are you such a fucking dipshit?”

His response was, “If they are going to treat me like a Peon, then I’m going to dress and act like a Peon.”

“Have you ever considered that if you dress and act like a Supervisor they may promote you to that position?”

“I won’t do the work I’m not assigned.  If they want me to dress nicer, they can buy my clothes.  If they want me to act nicer, they can make me happier.  If they want me to do more work, they can promote me.”

“Have you ever considered that if you dress and act like a Supervisor they may promote you to that position?”  Yes, I asked it again.

“If they want me to do more work, they will pay me prior to doing it.”

This is a note to all you fucktards out there who think you’re owed shit.  You’re NOT.  And if I was this asshat’s supervisor, he’d be gone.  You need to prove your worth the promotion BEFORE being promoted, not expect a promotion and then (maybe) do the extra work.


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